Tag Archives: self help

Why Do We Need Our Ambitions?

Why do people need their ambitions?

Ambition, it is a brilliant human device that will push you to achievement. It is what helps you to leaps of the imagination and create higher possibilities of invention; it can bring you praise. However, there can be moments in a typical 20-something in their life where they may suddenly look at ambition and realize how ruthlessly narcissistic it can be. It’s a big “Look at me and see how brilliant I am” slap in the face.

Some women may look at ambition as a dirty, and ugly word, possibly because of the old expectation that it is men who are built for all the glory in the world. Glory and ladies are not really quite a perfect match: it can be rather egotistic. In 2003 and 2004, The Harvard Business Review echoed on this issue with articles that say, “Nice Girls Don’t Ask” and “Do Women Lack Ambition?” (Of course, I’d say a big fat NO to that)

Yet without these ambitions of ours, the human mammal may or may not be still wandering off the desert and figuring out how a fire would work. Or if the ancient Egyptians have not been so ambitious in reaching the heavens that they would not be building the pyramids of Giza. And in turn, there would be no place for us to visit, no tombs to look out for, no temples and no sarcophagus to admire. The Romans may have destroyed a lot during their empire, but be glad that they still left their Colosseums and ampitheaters for us to visit and relive their glorious times. The ambitions of these civilizations did not do them any good in terms of retaining their glorious times, but they have left us with marvelous architectures, cultures, and stories to tell to generations after.

The tragic paradox to this whole ambition thing, is although those who achieved remarkable things have given them the highest of pleasures, they in turn, did not much gain personal happiness that should come along with it. The story of invention and beauty and the glitz and glam is always, more often than not, littered with suicides and the terminally insane.

But, there is something wildly exciting about chasing a high ambition. It is like reaching for the stars rather than moping around. Whatever the culture you may have grown with, one should never apologize for their dreams, no matter how crazy and outlandish it may seem. Ambition can remain benign as long as it is constantly examined: if not, you may find yourself lost in it, and one morning you wake up and do not recognize your own reflection in the mirror. It is recommended that you take a step back from you own aspirations and ask yourself questions. Because, you may reach the pinnacle of your profession and suddenly realize that you may not like the view and how it looks.

If you infuse your ambition with work, ambition can be a narrow thing. But I do like the idea of a much broader view: not merely to be successful in what you do, but also in what you are as a person. In a layman’s term, don’t end up running a company and not having time to make new friends, or read a book once you are home. And coming to find your own family asking: Who is that strange person coming in and out of our house? (As if you are a ghost) Once you acknowledge the dangers you can let your ambition rip – and don’t let anyone tell you different. You can be a nice person and still ask for anything you want.


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You Better Check Yourself, Before You Wreck Yourself


Ice cube jokes aside, one of the most important thing in life is to get to know oneself. A funny concept isn’t it? But do such people exist? Those lucky few that don’t need to spend half of their life searching for what makes them, themselves. I for one believe that the purpose of life is finding or developing oneself to the best possible self one can be. But is there a so-called “better version” to become?

If there is a better version of you that you can become, how can it be possible that the more flawed, lazy, unsuccessful version that you currently are is more you than the successful, energetic, happy person that you could be?

I think that the “true version” of ourselves lie in the the person who are constantly striving to be better, to achieve more and to add to humanity. No one is perfect, but striving to be better is what makes life worth living and is what will eventually lead us to true happiness. Unfortunately, like most of you, I too am at loss when it comes to figuring out what the steps are that need be taken to reach a higher state of oneself.


What it comes down to is the fact that being human means having limits. In order to know how far you can go, you have to outline those limits – the only way to do this is to push yourself to your limits and continue to do so until your limits reach your ceiling and you can no longer improve.

Whether or not such limit exists is an argument in itself. Nevertheless, finding said limits take a lifetime, so there is no need to worry about improving too quickly; there will always be more that can be done.

All of this idea of doing more, improving more, becoming better is actually counterproductive. The true secret to everything in life is to keep things simple, keeping things at minimal. We have so much extra baggage that we carry around with us throughout our lives that it is no wonder that we have so much trouble improving and getting to where we want to be. Life is already hard enough without having to lug around an extra 50lbs of useless garbage.

Have you tried only living? All it takes is for you to be breathing and for your heart to be beating – that’s all. Nothing more, nothing less. All your thoughts, all the things that you know, all the activities that you do, all you see, hear, smell – all of it is one big extravagance; it’s not a necessity. Nothing is necessary for your existence other than existing itself.


If you want to find out who you are, what you are made of, you need to meet yourself at your most basic form. Sure, you can argue that your thoughts, beliefs, and hobbies are what make you who you are. That’s true; all of these things do differentiate you from all the other people in the world. But you already know what makes you different from everyone else.

That does not, however, mean that you know who you really are. If you want to find yourself, you need to find out what does not differentiate you from the rest of the world; you need to be introduced to what connects you to everyone else and what makes you part of the world. I am connected to the world through my blog.

To do so, you need to let go. Let go of whatever it is that ties you down to your routine. Although, we can’t all just quit our jobs and vacation for the rest of our lives. We can, however, make sure not to take our work home with us after we leave the office.

We can stay home alone instead of going out to meet up with friends for drinks. We don’t need to meet up with our boyfriends, girlfriends, lovers, booty calls, fuck buddies, hookers. We don’t need to watch TV, movies, read, exercise, clean or anything else. In order for us to meet with ourselves, we must cut out all that is in excess of life itself. I am sure that most of you are finding this to be miserable. I’m sorry.

Human beings are not built to live in isolation. No man is an island as they say. We are meant to socialize and work together. What I am saying is not a way of life, but a method that can be practiced regularly on a week-to-week basis that will allow you to find yourself. You, the real you in your most basic form, is the you that doesn’t need anything more to live than the sustenance necessary for life.

There is a reason why you hear all of these “success stories” about people having to hit rock bottom before being able to find themselves and being able to grow and flourish. For anyone to be truly successful, they must know themselves first. The only way to get to know yourself is to cut out all the excess fat.


You could follow the footsteps of those that have lost everything because fate decided that that was the only way for them to start to live the life they were meant to live – but it wont be pleasant. The people that have lost everything before bouncing back did not enjoy their situation. Being in that situation involuntarily is not comforting in the least.

The only way to find yourself – to find out what you are made of and what really makes you tick – is to let go of everything. Hopefully you will be willing to do it on your own watch; when fate forces such a situation upon you, it is only accompanied by pain and sorrow. But I can tell you honestly, what it will eventually lead to is a life of happiness and satisfaction.


I’m so happy to announce that I will be part of the wonderful team of Elite Daily, a publishing company from New York! Yes, New York! And I will be a contributing writer to their Fashion section. That is just too good for words! So go follow Elite Daily for some good reading. I’ll still be writing here too of course! I won’t be leaving Cara Will Take Over anytime soon. :)





Earrings and Necklace : Mom’s hand me downs | Top : Merona for Target | Skirt : Forever 21 | Shoes : Jada | Bracelets : Mango and Cartier