Tag Archives: failures

You Better Check Yourself, Before You Wreck Yourself


Ice cube jokes aside, one of the most important thing in life is to get to know oneself. A funny concept isn’t it? But do such people exist? Those lucky few that don’t need to spend half of their life searching for what makes them, themselves. I for one believe that the purpose of life is finding or developing oneself to the best possible self one can be. But is there a so-called “better version” to become?

If there is a better version of you that you can become, how can it be possible that the more flawed, lazy, unsuccessful version that you currently are is more you than the successful, energetic, happy person that you could be?

I think that the “true version” of ourselves lie in the the person who are constantly striving to be better, to achieve more and to add to humanity. No one is perfect, but striving to be better is what makes life worth living and is what will eventually lead us to true happiness. Unfortunately, like most of you, I too am at loss when it comes to figuring out what the steps are that need be taken to reach a higher state of oneself.


What it comes down to is the fact that being human means having limits. In order to know how far you can go, you have to outline those limits – the only way to do this is to push yourself to your limits and continue to do so until your limits reach your ceiling and you can no longer improve.

Whether or not such limit exists is an argument in itself. Nevertheless, finding said limits take a lifetime, so there is no need to worry about improving too quickly; there will always be more that can be done.

All of this idea of doing more, improving more, becoming better is actually counterproductive. The true secret to everything in life is to keep things simple, keeping things at minimal. We have so much extra baggage that we carry around with us throughout our lives that it is no wonder that we have so much trouble improving and getting to where we want to be. Life is already hard enough without having to lug around an extra 50lbs of useless garbage.

Have you tried only living? All it takes is for you to be breathing and for your heart to be beating – that’s all. Nothing more, nothing less. All your thoughts, all the things that you know, all the activities that you do, all you see, hear, smell – all of it is one big extravagance; it’s not a necessity. Nothing is necessary for your existence other than existing itself.


If you want to find out who you are, what you are made of, you need to meet yourself at your most basic form. Sure, you can argue that your thoughts, beliefs, and hobbies are what make you who you are. That’s true; all of these things do differentiate you from all the other people in the world. But you already know what makes you different from everyone else.

That does not, however, mean that you know who you really are. If you want to find yourself, you need to find out what does not differentiate you from the rest of the world; you need to be introduced to what connects you to everyone else and what makes you part of the world. I am connected to the world through my blog.

To do so, you need to let go. Let go of whatever it is that ties you down to your routine. Although, we can’t all just quit our jobs and vacation for the rest of our lives. We can, however, make sure not to take our work home with us after we leave the office.

We can stay home alone instead of going out to meet up with friends for drinks. We don’t need to meet up with our boyfriends, girlfriends, lovers, booty calls, fuck buddies, hookers. We don’t need to watch TV, movies, read, exercise, clean or anything else. In order for us to meet with ourselves, we must cut out all that is in excess of life itself. I am sure that most of you are finding this to be miserable. I’m sorry.

Human beings are not built to live in isolation. No man is an island as they say. We are meant to socialize and work together. What I am saying is not a way of life, but a method that can be practiced regularly on a week-to-week basis that will allow you to find yourself. You, the real you in your most basic form, is the you that doesn’t need anything more to live than the sustenance necessary for life.

There is a reason why you hear all of these “success stories” about people having to hit rock bottom before being able to find themselves and being able to grow and flourish. For anyone to be truly successful, they must know themselves first. The only way to get to know yourself is to cut out all the excess fat.


You could follow the footsteps of those that have lost everything because fate decided that that was the only way for them to start to live the life they were meant to live – but it wont be pleasant. The people that have lost everything before bouncing back did not enjoy their situation. Being in that situation involuntarily is not comforting in the least.

The only way to find yourself – to find out what you are made of and what really makes you tick – is to let go of everything. Hopefully you will be willing to do it on your own watch; when fate forces such a situation upon you, it is only accompanied by pain and sorrow. But I can tell you honestly, what it will eventually lead to is a life of happiness and satisfaction.


I’m so happy to announce that I will be part of the wonderful team of Elite Daily, a publishing company from New York! Yes, New York! And I will be a contributing writer to their Fashion section. That is just too good for words! So go follow Elite Daily for some good reading. I’ll still be writing here too of course! I won’t be leaving Cara Will Take Over anytime soon. :)





Earrings and Necklace : Mom’s hand me downs | Top : Merona for Target | Skirt : Forever 21 | Shoes : Jada | Bracelets : Mango and Cartier



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The mere concept of change is such a hard thing to do. As Michael Jackson’s song goes, “To make this world a better place, you’ve got to look at yourself and make a change.” It is indeed hard to accept, what more if put into action? Most people, like me, fear change. I hated change so much that I had to look at myself and all the change that has occurred into my life and try to understand what’s wrong with accepting it.

Being too comfortable, is the most obvious reason why people tend to stay away from change. Any sort of modification or alteration from the usual daily routine would be unnecessary. “Why fix what’s not broken” is the usual adage to be coined to this thought. People like the way things are and what is interesting is that so many things in our lives are broken and are needed to be fixed and we don’t realize it, or we are scared of the unfamiliar outcome that lies after.

Sometimes, people need big changes like a new job or a new outlook in life. Some people need small changes like a new car, or new clothes. No matter what it is change is actually very easy and most of the time, like nine out of ten, very beneficial to our lives. We don’t realize that change is a natural phenomenon or occurrence and is the only permanent thing we can count on to happen. The problem is, we don’t realize it. We shrug our shoulders to accept the fact that it is indeed happening.

People that are in bad relationships probably need change the most, but are too scared to move on or be alone for a while in fear of never finding the right person. I think for the most part, its a crazy and an unhealthy thought process. But it also doesn’t mean that I have not experienced this before. Trying to make something work when you’ve mentally checked out is the worst waste of time. To stick around because it’s all you know or because you don’t want something you’ve invested time in to fail is a failure in itself. It is a type of failure that is already rubbing off of your face and you don’t realize it. It’s not benefiting you, it is hurting you. What we need to realize is that failure is good because it is the only way we can achieve success.

Now you may be thinking, “Oh shut up Cara! You’ve never failed before! You achieved this and that!” Well, if I may, I had my fair share of failures. I failed at an English exam way back first grade because I didn’t understand what a common and proper nouns are. I failed at a Chemistry exam because I hated chemical bonding and trying to understand what covalent bonds are. I failed at my first art project for a Materials class for college with a grade of 3.5. I also have my fair share of being broken hearted (when I thought back then that I have failed on relationships). I have to admit that I did cry. I cried because I have always envisioned myself of having the perfect A mark. But then when all these types of failures happened, I have to admit it made me stronger. Not a lot stronger, a little bit stronger but it made me a whole different person with newer perspectives in life.

Failure, it often leads to change. Which in turn leads to re-routing ourselves in the right direction. I truly believe that moving on from a past relationship is the only way you’ll learn what you want and don’t want. With every relationship and every friendship you have, you learn about people and when we interact with others we learn more about ourselves. Knowing who you are and what you want is everything and it’s through change of atmosphere, change in relationships and change in ourselves that we come to find what we really want out of our life, and vice versa.

When you are with the right person, there is no need to question what could be or could have been. The saying, “When you know he/she is the one, then she/he’s the one.” There isn’t a constant internal battle between whether you should be single or stay with somebody. It’s effortless, it feels right and well, when you know, you know.

When analyzing all the change that have occurred in my life, I realized that the only thing I regret about change, is not changing the things that needed it sooner.Don’t put off changing because you’re too scared or because you think what you have now is the best you’ll ever get. Trust me, its not. Think about all the change that has occurred in your life. Maybe it was leaving a toxic relationship or moving to a new town for a fresh start. I for one had this enlightenment when I was in London way back 2011.

I guarantee that you can look at where you are now and say it’s better than where you were a year ago. Sometimes its not even you that needs to change, its your priorities. To get what you’ve never had, you must do what you’ve never done before. And regardless of where you want to be in 5 years, the same time will pass whether you stay in the same place or start making moves right now. So go make a change no matter what it is, big or small. It could be a new diet, or a better job, or breaking up with the bum on your couch. Relax and things will get better. If you don’t know what to change first, remember you could always start with the man in the mirror.

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