The mere concept of change is such a hard thing to do. As Michael Jackson’s song goes, “To make this world a better place, you’ve got to look at yourself and make a change.” It is indeed hard to accept, what more if put into action? Most people, like me, fear change. I hated change so much that I had to look at myself and all the change that has occurred into my life and try to understand what’s wrong with accepting it.
Being too comfortable, is the most obvious reason why people tend to stay away from change. Any sort of modification or alteration from the usual daily routine would be unnecessary. “Why fix what’s not broken” is the usual adage to be coined to this thought. People like the way things are and what is interesting is that so many things in our lives are broken and are needed to be fixed and we don’t realize it, or we are scared of the unfamiliar outcome that lies after.
Sometimes, people need big changes like a new job or a new outlook in life. Some people need small changes like a new car, or new clothes. No matter what it is change is actually very easy and most of the time, like nine out of ten, very beneficial to our lives. We don’t realize that change is a natural phenomenon or occurrence and is the only permanent thing we can count on to happen. The problem is, we don’t realize it. We shrug our shoulders to accept the fact that it is indeed happening.
People that are in bad relationships probably need change the most, but are too scared to move on or be alone for a while in fear of never finding the right person. I think for the most part, its a crazy and an unhealthy thought process. But it also doesn’t mean that I have not experienced this before. Trying to make something work when you’ve mentally checked out is the worst waste of time. To stick around because it’s all you know or because you don’t want something you’ve invested time in to fail is a failure in itself. It is a type of failure that is already rubbing off of your face and you don’t realize it. It’s not benefiting you, it is hurting you. What we need to realize is that failure is good because it is the only way we can achieve success.
Now you may be thinking, “Oh shut up Cara! You’ve never failed before! You achieved this and that!” Well, if I may, I had my fair share of failures. I failed at an English exam way back first grade because I didn’t understand what a common and proper nouns are. I failed at a Chemistry exam because I hated chemical bonding and trying to understand what covalent bonds are. I failed at my first art project for a Materials class for college with a grade of 3.5. I also have my fair share of being broken hearted (when I thought back then that I have failed on relationships). I have to admit that I did cry. I cried because I have always envisioned myself of having the perfect A mark. But then when all these types of failures happened, I have to admit it made me stronger. Not a lot stronger, a little bit stronger but it made me a whole different person with newer perspectives in life.
Failure, it often leads to change. Which in turn leads to re-routing ourselves in the right direction. I truly believe that moving on from a past relationship is the only way you’ll learn what you want and don’t want. With every relationship and every friendship you have, you learn about people and when we interact with others we learn more about ourselves. Knowing who you are and what you want is everything and it’s through change of atmosphere, change in relationships and change in ourselves that we come to find what we really want out of our life, and vice versa.
When you are with the right person, there is no need to question what could be or could have been. The saying, “When you know he/she is the one, then she/he’s the one.” There isn’t a constant internal battle between whether you should be single or stay with somebody. It’s effortless, it feels right and well, when you know, you know.
When analyzing all the change that have occurred in my life, I realized that the only thing I regret about change, is not changing the things that needed it sooner.Don’t put off changing because you’re too scared or because you think what you have now is the best you’ll ever get. Trust me, its not. Think about all the change that has occurred in your life. Maybe it was leaving a toxic relationship or moving to a new town for a fresh start. I for one had this enlightenment when I was in London way back 2011.
I guarantee that you can look at where you are now and say it’s better than where you were a year ago. Sometimes its not even you that needs to change, its your priorities. To get what you’ve never had, you must do what you’ve never done before. And regardless of where you want to be in 5 years, the same time will pass whether you stay in the same place or start making moves right now. So go make a change no matter what it is, big or small. It could be a new diet, or a better job, or breaking up with the bum on your couch. Relax and things will get better. If you don’t know what to change first, remember you could always start with the man in the mirror.
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