“Welcome to the Island of Misfit Toys” was the most intriguing line that I’ve heard in the book Perks of Being a Wallflower. (On the side note, if you haven’t read the book or at least watched the movie, shame on you!). What does it really mean when Sam (Emma Watson) said those 7 words? I really had a hard time understanding it in a deeper meaning. In a world where “fitting in” seems to be the most important thing to achieve in this world and “standing out” is the decorated term for being popular, the word misfit seems to be so large. What does it really mean when you’ve become a misfit toy? Does it have to mean weird? or awkward? or just plain unpopular?
Looking back, I’ve come from both sides, being the bully and the bullied. Its not fun in both ends, being the bully means you get to be called inside the principals office or your guidance counselor. Being the bullied is even more worse. But I think after all those years, I’ve come to grow a thick skin for bullies. I was a bully during grade school, mostly because I’ve been influenced by the wrong kind of friends. During high school, people bullied me because I was the “goodie-two-shoes” who was at times praised by the teachers for actually doing the “work”. How did I cope up with those bullies in high school? Simple. “YOU, DON’T GIVE A SH*T” I’m serious. We bullies, were insecure people who feed on others insecurities. We know every nook and cranny that people have, all the sh*t you’ve been through, and we feed on gossip. Now that I’m in college, I’ve learned to grow up. Realizing what it feels like on both ends of being the bullied and the bully, it somehow grows on you and you become a better person. Being a bully can have its perks on the latter end because you learn on how to defend yourself when people started going all up in your face. It’s not about stooping as low as your competitor but being defensive on your territory. If you know you did the right thing, defend yourself. On being the bullied you learn to grow empathy. It is different from sympathy. Empathy means putting yourself on someone else’s shoes and knowing and realizing how one feels. It’s deeper than sympathy.
As for my love for girls who you’d love to hate, e.g. Blair Waldorf and Olivia Palermo, ergo, I really have a passion for scheming and sleuthing. I really think that it’s in my blood to be a spy and to scheme on things. Scheming gets me excited most of the time because it sounds like a well-layouted plan or route. Spy or detective movies really get me going! Plus, bad girls always gets the greatest wardrobe. Maybe it hasn’t occurred to your brains that my fashion sense is a little bit backward. I show less while others show more. I tend to be more comfortable donning heels than flats. And I feel more glamorous when I’m all made up than looking like some trash. I never liked looking not made-up when I go out of the house. I always made it a point to think through my outfit, because I do not believe in the adage “I just put it on.” Clothes can speak a lot about the person. And think about it, if you just put on some casual clothes you haven’t even ironed, what will happen when you see a cute guy passing by? or an old friend? Sometimes my clothes even spark up a conversation! So what if I sometimes overdress? There’s a lot of people more overdressed than I am, and look at them! They’re changing the world of fashion! (Think Anna dello Russo or even Lady Gaga) Carrying yourself well is very important.
Anyways, I took a photo of my outfit because I would like to congratulate myself for fitting into the most perfect jeans from Mango. I never, ever wore skinny jeans and this one is the first pair I got! Basically, I didn’t want to fit in to any skinny jeans because of my height and the fact that I have child-bearing hips, ergo my hips are wide. I always wear skirts whenever I go out, and jeans are usually straight cut for me. Another insecurity of mine in fact is not only my hips but also my butt. As much as how a lot of people have complemented my J.Lo/Beyonce/Scarlett Johansson butt that I have, I always feel insecure about it cause people tend to look at it. So much so, that is again another fact on why I cannot be skinny. Even though I fit into a size 0, I’ve been a little “blessed” in most part that people would like, and because I have a very tiny frame standing in at 5’1″, its extremely hard to make myself a little skinny. For the most part, my vital statistics can be compared to Scarlett Johansson, but then again, I wish I had her confidence in wearing tight fitting leotards and kick some ass like how she did in Avengers. So being skinny is a big-no-no for me, I wouldn’t want to look anorexic too.
Enough about insecurities, bullies and bullying! I’m posting today because I wouldn’t want to be the bearer of bad news, but this I have to announce. If you are living in the Philippines then you would know that the second semester for my University has already started, and I am on the brink of finishing my thesis (I hope and please cross your fingers!) so posting more frequently will be a bit harder for me. I would want to keep posting though, but the time constraints are extremely hard. I am very active in my twitter account, so keeping up with me would not be hard. I hope that in time, you guys would again keep up with my shinanigans. I really just want to finish my thesis and get over with it, but I really have to keep my focus on it 100%, I want to graduate and I want to graduate with honors (Summa Cum Laude perhaps). I really want to apologize in advance, but do keep in mind that when I return, it will be big! :D
*inspiration outfit: Olivia Palermo