Why I Gave Up on my Dream…(And started new ones)

Just recently, one of my dearest friends tweeted me endearly, “Curl I didn’t know you came to CFAD with fashion in mind shetbols /read your ‘about the author’ sa blog omg.” Which in turn led me to do this post. Well, in the real sense, I was thinking of what could be my next post about since my college finals is coming and soon, you’ll be expecting no post until the second week of October when I finally finished my first semester.

Anyways, back to the topic. If you have read my ‘About the Author’ page in my blog (which you can find on the top besides ‘Home’), there was a question there on “How’d you get into Advertising?” and I answered it with one of the most honest and most personal thing I could say, “Well, I really took up advertising to be more of a fashion designer. Just like what Leo Burnett said, ‘I didn’t come to advertising, Advertising came to me.’ ” That’s it, direct to the point no hush-hush, no hearsay whatsoever.

Flash back 6 years ago, during grade school. While everyone was just developing a set piece of mammary glands and practicing their underwear for whats to come, I have my own set already and dreaded the “D-day” of womanhood. Long was the day when I told myself that I do not want to be like everyone of my classmates. I don’t want to be in t-shirt, jeans and sneakers combo, I wanna be my own self, I want to have my own style. I told my mom that day, to help me do some ‘make-over’ of myself and started having small changes in my casual personal style. She was glad to do so! My mom bought me dresses, skirts and blouses from Mango, Zara and Topshop. She also told the same thing to my aunt who was ecstatic when she heard the news and was so generous of giving me new clothes even up to this date. After that whole make-over thing, I had my own personal style. I was always, as they say, “Preppy and put together.” Ergo, some people might even say “You look so corporate.” And so there it was, I was settled my dream is just plain simple, I want to be a fashion designer since I love the way fashion makes me feel, makes me look and it makes me confident.

But yet again, that was 6 years ago, fast forward to first year college. I was still a dreamer, and my goals were set. I’d take up College of Fine Arts major in Advertising because it is the most diverse course that could offer me a great pursuit to my dreams of becoming a designer. But ‘lo and behold I realized it was not just me who have the same dream. Almost 20% of all the first year students who were with me had the same dream and more importantly they have more experience than I do. So, how will I stand out among them 20%? Knowing my own self, I was not going to settle for being a wallflower. I decided to give up on that dream. “Why?” you may ask. The answer is simple really, I believe in the idea that there will be always someone who’ll be better at you at something. I’ve accepted defeat, they have more passion than I do. I even questioned myself, “What will I have to offer to the fashion world? What will I bring new to the table?” And the answer I got was nothing. My own personal style revolves around simple silhouette lines, think Audrey Hepburn. I know what looks good on me, I know what I have to accentuate, know what works and what doesn’t. Simplicity is the key to my own personal style.

So with that settled, I know how much I breathe fashion but I don’t want to be a designer. People have told me how I was a dictator, if I see someone who needs some work in their own style, I tell them directly. What do I become now? I told myself, as much as I love fashion I love doing layouts, I want to work for fashion but maybe someone who works behind the camera. I wanted to be an art director for a fashion magazine, I feel it is more fulfilling than my latter dream. Being able to influence a lot more people something only a few people can do. Think Anna Wintour, Anna dello Russo, Grace Coddington, the unsung hero of fashion magazines! And realizing that is something I can do, something I can bring new to the world. I am a dictator, a dictator of fashion.

“Do you still want to be an art director now?” The answer is ‘yes’ I still want to. But to take a step further, I want to become an advertiser now. Having been influenced by my professors these college years have inspired me to aspire even much greater than my own dreams. And having been able to experience little bits of that during my internship at Leo Burnett Manila was the most amazing experience I could ask for! I’m new to this world of advertising, and I am still uncertain if there’s something I can add to this new dream. Well, maybe I can, whenever I want to reach for something I wouldn’t let anyone or anything stop me for reaching it.

It would be wrong for me to tell you to give up on your dreams. For god’s sake, hell no! I want every single person in the world to reach for their dreams. I do not advise anyone to do the same thing I did on my first one, it was something I knew I had to do because I see no future in it for me in the designing business of fashion. I let someone else’s dream go right ahead by retreating on that pursuit. But, I will not give up on my new dreams. I’ve found my new purpose in life and its something I see myself doing for the next years. I don’t think I’ll ever be tired on advertising, knowing how it takes a few creative people to start inspiring people, like a jolt of energy to influence people to change their habits or see a product differently can mean a lot to a girl like me!

People who might be reading this now will say, “This girl does not know what she’s talking about!” Honestly, I don’t. I feel there’s a future for me in this industry and I know I have to learn more things along the way. I’m way far behind people like David Guerrero, Raoul Panes, Alvin Tecson, Dante Dizon, Mon Jimenez and all those people in the advertising industry. But, in my own defense, I’m a quick learner. I’ve got to start small somewhere and if people just have a little faith in me, I can do it. So to all the dreamers out there, if you think you deserve to get your dreams, by all means hold on to it and keep dreaming! Reach not just for one star, but all the stars in the sky. I will not give up on mine, not in a million years.


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